Expectations and imperfectness

Recently. i think. i tried the very best in dancing. everytime i dropped by in block e or any other bboy practice, i tell myself. I wanna get better today, i wanna make even every piece of clothes that's touching on my body will get wet before i head home. I wanna get sweat, If possible i wanna make my shoes get drowned. I wanna dance like there's raining inside me(if u get how far im giving myself now) I keep on doing the steps that hurts my hand and the knee. Seriously, i don like it. but i know the best, i have to get better and to give in more.

BUT everything just got out of control.Today, I cant even do perfectly on bboy prod choreo. i don feel the music. My body's moving like rock as if im just jumping. In everything, everything that i concern in activities, is dance/break. yet i don feel it. i cant see it coming. I dono how can i be a real great breakers. I tried and yes. it's been more than half a year already yet im still not to the expectations. dancing has been releasing stress but i guess i got it way upside down, it's stressing me. Im so demotivated. guess i'll have to.be.more.serious.in.breaking. I seriously need improvement to motivate myself.

ps: this aint a emo post and i felt better posting on.

-CheeHang-